


Forever

by Natasja



Series: Downton Abbey one-shots [3]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: F/M, Grief, Introspection, Learning from mistakes, Robert-centric, Teach an Old Earl new tricks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:48:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21653995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natasja/pseuds/Natasja
Summary: Robert Crawley knew what he was talking about when he warned Mrs Pelham that she was on the verge of losing her son forever by her opposition to his marriage.He wished that his experience hadn't come at such a high cost
Relationships: Edith Crawley/Bertie Pelham, Tom Branson/Sybil Crawley, other canon pairings
Series: Downton Abbey one-shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764919
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	Forever

Robert Crawley understands the new Lord Hexham’s mother, in a way that few others might.

He knows what it is to look upon a changing world, to feel lost and to be angry at everything that threatens the perceived stability of your worldview, even when you know (will not admit) that the past was never so stable to begin with. Robert knows how a parent can feel adrift, useless, as they watch their child embracing all that the future has to offer, and the indignation when it feels like the parent’s efforts are being thrown away like an unwanted toy. The Earl of Grantham knows, because he has experienced it.

Sybil was not his only child, as Bertie is Mrs Pelham’s, but like Bertie, she sought happiness in someone her parent thought unsuitable, and through his stubborn scorn, Robert lost her long before she died.

At least Edith, with her illegitimate child, gave her future mother-in-law grounds to be offended. Tom, for all his revolutionary tendencies, had done nothing wrong but be born to the wrong tier of society. Now that they had bonded through grief and love of the daughter who shared Sybil’s name, Robert only occasionally wished that Tom had been gently-born. Of course, had Tom been yet another lord-in-waiting, without the working class background that made him so supportive of a woman wanting to work, Sybil may well have paid him the same lack of attention she did every other landowner’s son they had introduced her to during her Season.

Robert had refused to see that Sybil didn’t want a grand title or a country estate (not that many of those remained, either), that the war had changed her and she wanted to do something else with her life. He had blamed Tom for everything, as if anyone, much less the man supposedly in control of her, had ever been able to make Sybil do anything she didn’t want to. There were few men in the world who would have waited so long, on so little hope, as Tom had, or who would have insisted on doing things properly once Sybil had decided.

Robert had several regrets in his life, but few greater than refusing to attend Sybil’s wedding, where she was the first Crawley bride since the family was ennobled to marry without wearing the family tiara. He told himself then that it would have been too awkward, an English Lord among Irish rebels, but later admitted that it was pride. As if his refusal to attend would somehow invalidate their vows and reverse time to when child-Sybil hung on his every word like a holy commandment. With the benefit of hindsight, he scoffed at his own arrogance.

Sybil never treated him the same way after that.

She respected him as her father and the Lord Grantham of Downton Abbey, but he had disappointed her, and she no longer trusted him with the blind faith of a beloved daughter. By staying away and cutting off support, Robert had proven that he didn’t respect Sybil’s judgement, or her right to make decisions that he didn’t agree with. Pride in his name and reputation were more important than his love for his family.

Robert had never intended for his actions to be taken in such a way, but he couldn’t blame his daughter or his son-in-law for seeing it like that.

Then, just as he was finally starting to see that Sybil hadn’t ruined her life, just as they were starting to regain a hint of the closeness they had once shared… Robert’s belief in a title led him to a mistake that cost Sybil her life. If he hadn’t been so blinded by a knighthood and a reputation for delivering the heirs of Dukedoms and Earldoms…. But there was no point in dwelling on that. Robert had made his choices in pride and conceit, and now he had to live with them.

Having failed Sybil, he couldn’t bear to see the same pain in Edith’s eyes, or Bertie’s. If that were not enough, he could never wish the pain of being estranged from a child and the knowledge that it was your fault on anyone. Mrs Pelham didn’t see it, yet, blinded by her morals just as Robert had been blinded by his upbringing.

But if she tried to force her son away from Edith, whatever the outcome of that harsh choice, she would see. Either Bertie would obey and despise her, or he would marry Edith and Lady would never see either of them again. Either way, she would lose her son, just as Robert had lost Sybil, and there would be no going back.

Robert couldn’t let her make that mistake, not without at least trying to warn her.

He only hoped that she chose better than he had.

**Author's Note:**

> I am a die-hard Tom/Sybil shipper, but Robert's line in S6 really struck me. He knew exactly what it was to lose a child because you couldn't let go of how you thought the world should be, and I wanted to explore that a bit.


End file.
